What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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