my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
