I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Randomize
