So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
