ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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