just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
