guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
