dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
