im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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