Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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