Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
