We won't sleep together?
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
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The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
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I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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