I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just pee around me
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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