I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
