the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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