well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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