I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
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every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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