just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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