I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
