Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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