This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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