i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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