there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
