it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
