Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
