I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
