We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
