Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
