3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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