We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
