I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
