brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
