Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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