i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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