he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Randomize
