Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
and you fell through a lawn chair
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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