Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
