She is in my trunk
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
