I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
