you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
