the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
