Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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