i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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