the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
