Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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