He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
