do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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