i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
