I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
