Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
They took my balls.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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