That's intense
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
