I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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