you traded sex for a burrito?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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