True but thats because hes a fetus.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
