i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
