a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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