I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
