i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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