I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
