East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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