That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
