i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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