Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize