just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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