Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Randomize
