I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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