What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize