butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
