Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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