she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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