The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
