i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
